i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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