im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
