Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
