He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
