i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
