A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
