So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She bit a glass in half.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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