Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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