Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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