Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
