This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
