I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
