You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
