ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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