so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
