At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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