That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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