I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Please don't give away my fajitas
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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