Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
