...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
