Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
