what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We left an ass print on the piano.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
