Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
