Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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