everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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