it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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