HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
