yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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