some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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