oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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