; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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