His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just googled if crying burns calories
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
