Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
