Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
