As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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