OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Buhtt sex?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
