In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
