he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
