It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
