Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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