you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
