wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
