every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
