I am spending my child support on dildos
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
