So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
