need another drink. this is the easiest way
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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