I want to stick my p in your. b.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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