You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
