Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
