I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
