She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
